How I fixed my laptop. For now at least.
Step 1: Open laptop, and clean dust away thoroughly.
Step 2: Remove dead video card.
Step 3: Preheat oven to 385° and elevate card on a makeshift tin foil platform.
Step 4: Bake for 8-10 minutes.
Step 5: Turn off oven, open oven door slightly, and allow card to cool
slowly for 25 minutes before placing into computer.
Step 8: Profit.